aug 2nd disney trip... day one

having been to disney world many times with my mother and family in general, i have learned one thing: FOLLOW THE BOOK!

"what book?" you may ask.

is it the bible, the koran, something by bill bryson? nope. none of the above.

the aforementioned book is "The Unofficial Guide to Disney."

i have also learned a second thing: NEVER QUESTION THE BOOK!

my mom has no problem rolling with the punches... unless those punches involves disney. then the only punches involved are the ones that will follow if you question THE book.

i can say with unabashed shame that i am a devout follower of the book, since age 9.

it tells you how to maximize your time while minimizing your wait time. basically: it's genius... as long as you actually follow it.

enter problem here...

normally, we plan our vacation time before we get there including which parks at what time on which day. excessive? yes. brilliant? absolutely.

day one: arrive in orlando.

previous plan (in strict accordance to THE book): sit by pool, unpack, eat dinner, drink (not necessarily in that order.)

actual plan: unpacked, hopped on the monorail (seriously, why hasn't the rest of the country caught on to the idea of sky rails? no seattle, i wasn't talking to you... diva.) anyway, i decided i needed my dose of pirates.

WARNING: DEVIATION OF PLAN!!!

so mom, allowing impending doom in order to placate her insane 25 year old daughter, agreed to go at a time when THE book told the reader "bad idea. seriously."

while in line for the ride... we realized we were packed between an indian family of 5 aft side and a brit family of 4 bow side.

it took a good amoung of self-restraint to refrain from using an eddie izzard joke... but i did.

in conclusion: after watching small children attempting to climb through bars to get INTO faux 17th/18th century prisons, running in a continual horizontal pattern between the prison-chic walls like a ping pong ball on crack, culminating with an attempt to scale the walls that were labeled with signs (and common sense) that read "please keep children close and refrain from touching/walking on displays and walls" ... and then remembering i was TOTALLY that kid... i am quite certain i am NEVER having children. EVER.

basically, i drop-kicked my biological clock in the pirate waters of adventure land.