sometimes life gives you lemons...

and you turn it into lemonade. but when life starts throwing lemons at you... well that's when shit gets real. my answer? throw a grenade of words back at life. or maybe just a grenade. so why haven't i been posting? well... (prepare yourself for a long ramble, maybe grab a snack or a cup of tea... i'll wait. oh good, you're back!) because i have chronic pain. it's chronically a problem. you know those fibromyalgia ads? where nice older women just want to pick up a potted plant? then they take a pill and YAY they can garden again? yeah... that's not what i have. i have the version of fibromyalgia where, on a good day, a snow storm of acid is flowing throughout my nerves. on a bad day, that snow storm becomes a blizzard from hell (i'm just guessing in hell they probably want to switch it up sometimes, you know hellfire can just be so monotonous.) so that's been the norm lately... well for the past 13 years. chronic pain started when i was 14 (those at home doing the math, yes that makes me 27), so i've grown accustomed to chronic pain. have you ever wondered how people deal with pain? one of two ways: 1.) let the pain run your life and depression inevitably sets in and you give up; or 2.) you allow the depression to set in... decide the depression doesn't suit you very well, and say "fuck you pain!" and instead decide to live your life as best you can and laugh as often as humanly possible. so i'm 27, living at home with my mother (think diane sawyer with more silliness and love), my father (the doctor with a dash of curmudgeon and a pinch of sarcasm and again love), and our dog dylan (the adorable golden with a heart and mouth of a shark.) so there it is. for now. the start of something new. this blog is about to get very seriously funny, awkward, accidentally brilliant, and hopefully entertaining. welcome back!