it's finally here! the fantastic, the charming, the mort blog!

so it's finally here!

i know, i know, calm yourselves first. have a cup of soothing tea or decaff coffee, 

sit back, relax, and just let me tell you the story of the three wise men.

no, no, no! not those guys!

theses guys:

 (from left to right, mort, leo the lion with his happy face, and ted.)

(from left to right, mort, leo the lion with his happy face, and ted.)

so i suppose i should start at the beginning, but they wore off on me, and i forgot how this kinship began (anyone who actually knows me well, knows that's a blatant lie.) these 3 hangout at my (it's the closest and and my favorite B & N to my house and i know almost every employee there by name and likewise, seriously) barnes and noble cafe all the time. we just missed each other (i generally come in and out as i please... especially in this hot as hades weather. it's entirely possibly the bennett family is single-handedly keeping that particular barnes and noble in business... with some help from other customers, but mostly the bennetts... well the cass women. but i digress, as usual (look! i'm my own peanut gallery!) 

one day, i come across these three troublemakers (don't let their charm fool you, cunning bunch this lot), and mort said i was a beautiful young lady (well, they all said that and i was sold) and asked if i know how to dance (he was once a fantastic dance instructor.) i replied, "nope, but i'm willing to learn if you'll teach me." i was a little worried about his heart... because ted said "watch your heart condition mort! that one looks like a killer!" 

now at this point how could i refuse? 

so he said "have you heard of the Argentinian tango?" 

my response: "yes, but i'm a terrible partner dancer. i just never learned."

for those at you at home going "really hillary, after the last post, REALLY?" so to calm your doubts about being a dirty old man (they've become fairly protective and are wonderful conversationalists, so what's a little groping between complete strangers? right? guys? anyway, the Argentinian tango is chest to chest, and very intimate. i warned him i have two left feet when it comes to actual partner dancing, so he did a 5 minute dance lesson our first time, and every time after that. 

believe me when i say: everyone got their smart phone and were taking pictures because it was quite a site. 

i asked mort (furst, mind you, we've grown very close) if he and his friends would do me the honor of taking a picture with me. 

our normal discussion (to join the club i had to tell a dirty joke or two, but i have a few tricks up my sleeve... as i'm sure the lot of them do as well).

here we are, can you feel that spark through the computer? scorpio, gotta watch out for us :)

anyway, we exchanged cell numbers so when he's healthy enough he's taking me dancing.

just one little itty bitty problem: i am not a dancer, and consequently do not own dancing shoes. 

i'll figure it out. (he's already one of the main characters in my murder mystery: good guy, obviously! ... whoops, should have said "spoilers."

and this is why ted thought mort might possibly go into cardiac arrest: 

we posed for a dancing picture!

in all fairness, mort was having the time of his life. good story to tell and pass along: if you want to get a girl 1.) be charming, 2.) be suave, 3.) ask her to dance and/or teach her. (there are a couple of other things, but loving women myself, i'm not giving away trade secrets ;)

as always, be kind to yourself, 

love yourself, 

and care for those around you.

and every time you're in the city (any city): look up! there is so much history and beauty and people. you're missing a lot by staring at the ground. 


also: BOTH captain hammer and captain mal like this again  (again totally not true.):

as for "tomorrow's blog on mort"... sorry for the tardiness ladies and gents, just a lot going on:

saving puppies and orphans from out of control drag races, trying to figure out how to inexpensively dress in a steampunk outfit (impossible, unless i know someone who can sew for super cheap), and waiting for my kooling kafkas to arrive so i can shoot some arrows again. i miss it. i know i'm losing my touch since it's been 15 years since i last shot an arrow, and i've only been able to shoot my recurve bow 6 times since i got it... first hunger games, then hawkeye (sorry Avengers, if you like comics, give hawkeye a chance!, also green arrow), and now brave (i love all of the above, but it took the cool nice weather from me! stupid weather. 

right, ending on a silly note:

 this is Dean from Supernatural (great show, btw), he will kick your ass if you don't read my blog.

this is Zoe from Firefly (Fantastic show, in case you were wondering, and you should), she'll just shoot you to back up the aforementioned Captain Mal (they're fictional, they can endorse.)

this is "echo" from "the dollhouse".... trust me, you really should listen to her and read the blog... just saying.