as promised.... SUPER HEROES!!!!!!!!!!!! with pics!!!

heroes are made,
by choices
by those fight or flight moments
whether you like it or not...

so here is a super hero...
his name... is Dylan, master shedder (no, not "shredder", "shedder", that's what goldens do.)
but i digress.
his powers are immense! he bites! he chews! he humps whatever and whomever he pleases, cause he's just that cool of a super hero (when they consent... ask me how many girlfriends he has at this point in time on his walks and when we have to put him in a luxury kennel!)
here he is, in all of his glory!

whoops, wrong one... he was still a biter, mind you.

ah. there we go. with his cape.. he is mighty!

but let's face it, all super heroes need a sidekick. well, that would be me...

that's right folks, i'm the sidekick... in my  downtime, i help dylan defeat evildoers by one of two ways: seducing them (i'm not picky, boy or girl, my powers are, well, powerful.)

and what is my second power (you ask, probably not really caring and just wanting to see more pictures of dylan), well, it is mind control: with my eyes! that's right, i can control you with my eyes. an amazon scorpio with magical eyes and a bitey dog... don't mess!

ah yes, the story, well, dylan defeated the cone of silence/shame without a bat of his eye. in case you forgot, this is what it looked like:

with dignity, no less!!!

ha HA.

anyway, while dylan was wearing his cape, he had a feeling...

it looked like this:

that is his "something is amiss look" (it also happens to be his "i have to go outside" look, but since he was wearing the cape, and had just chased some bunnies outside, i was pretty sure it was the former rather than the latter.)

and wouldn't you know it? there was danger a waiting!!!!

enter evil doers:

that's right folks, Under Dog's ego got the better of him, and he felt forgotten, and sad that his name would only live on in a fairly bad not too far back movie... and he had to be stopped. his broken ego caused him to run amuck! he was marking his territory every chance he got, biting every person who didn't recognize him, chewing up everything he could get his dejected paws on!

however, he soon realized his single rampage was not enough: he needed something to do further his rampage... but what?

a death ray? too obvious 

a freeze ray? been done.

time machine to then threaten the timeline continuum? not enough quantum mechanical experience.

dejected, angry, certain he needed to cause damage... but with what?

and that's when it hit him... not a what... but a WHOM!

"ah HA! i need a large brute....a partner!"

ENTER:

that's right folks, a flippin' gorilla! they are big, and smelly, and apparently also cartoons (to be fair, under dog has been out of the scene for a while, if you count that movie that happened, which i do not, and apparently, neither does under dog.)

unfortunately, my powers of scorpio seduction only worked on the gorilla... i believe his name was frank? bill? john? wade? no... i want to say it started with a "b"... something very non villain-esque. huh. darn it. i hate forgetting names... 

but i digress, i had the gorilla under control (i promised i'd call him after an awkward date full of bananas and playing donkey kong, which was hard enough to find), i had him rolled up in chains of justice in no time (after the date.) it was the ole "i'm a weak blond female, could you help me move this to my car because i am a girl and clearly helpless because of my gender and you've just shown your manly gorilla-ness by banging your chest in front of other alpha males" move. why do they fall for it? i'm 5' 9" (and a 1/4) for crying out loud! again, i digress.

Dylan the super dog and Under Dog... well, the under dog in this case, didn't stand a chance.

they fought. buildings were toppled, butts were sniffed, bites were bitten... BUT Under Dog forgot rule one of super heroes gone bad: never wear a non-removable cape! dylan bit in and wouldn't let go! it was epic! under dog was crying! i almost felt sorry... until i realized, he was upset that that particular cape, happened to be his only one... and man, those super capes are murder on the wallet at the dry cleaners (or so i've heard, i don't have a cape, so i wouldn't know, and dylan's is washable, so, there you are.)

mass destruction avoided.

chaos avoided.

butt sniffing... well that was just awkward.

BUT at the end of the day,

we went back to our not so hidden identities... since i used our real names... whoops.

 batman, robin, wonder woman, batwoman, green arrow, superman, super girl, hawkeye, black canary, batgirl, zatanna (well, that's a bad example, everyone knows who she is and that she's a magician, they just don't all know she's also a legit super hero, the rest, however, were perfectly good examples), hell EVERY actual super hero would be like "seriously?" whatever, we don't live in gotham, star city, or metropolis, or any other evildoer mecca, so i feel fairly secure in our lack of secret identity.

 at the end of the day, all was well in the world of the bennett household.

yes. all in all, we did well as crime fighters, you know, since they were cartoons. had it been cats? i would have run for the hills! zombies, no worries, i have a bow and arrow and i know how to use it (that's actually true.) meteor heading towards earth? no worries, call bruce willis. anything else? call president obama or the first lady, michelle obama, pretty sure they'd know what to do. or the myth busters. or harrison ford. he'd save the day AND make a movie out of it! alas, he has a woman. le sigh.

and that's all folks! 

be kind to one another.  

love, a wannabe super hero,

aka:

Sassy Cass

Capt Cass Harkness

Cassniss

(i'm not sure how to make "hillary" sound like "merida", "hawkeye", "green arrow", or "artemis", but never fear, i'm sure i'll find a way to butcher those as well.)
although the previous names are actually doug's fault.
so you can blame him.

hope you enjoyed this very silly story!