anyway, let me remind you of the "wonder dog"
so
to recap: this is a wonder dog...
yeah...
well, i come running down the stairs after hearing this howling...
now, i've already lost a dog/best friend this past december, so i was on full alarm when i heard dylan wailing like he was near death.
i was two flights up when i heard the sound no animal owner/lover ever wants to hear... so despite my chronic pain, i ran and pretty much fell down all two flights to get to my baby
.... to find him spinning in the desk chair in the kitchen.
no, he was not stuck...
i'm going to go on as if i could speak to dylan... which would have actually been very helpful so i could explain to him exactly what i would like to have done to him after falling down two flights of stairs...
dylan: the evil chair of spinning doom won't let me go!
me: dylan, get off the chair.
dylan: can't. don't have my cape, therefore, i don't have my super powers. the evil chair of spinning doom won't let me go!
me: dylan, get off the chair... NOW!
dylan: i CAN'T!!! i'm stuck on the.... what part of this dire situation are you not getting?!?! EVIL CHAIR OF SPINNING DOOM! IT WON'T LET ME GO!!!! what the hell? why aren't you taking this seriously... THE CHAIR OF SPINNING DOOM HAS ME TRAPPED! THIS IS SERIOUS!
me: dylan, get off the chair, it isn't an evil chair of spinning doom, and you do not need your cape to get down... also, you ate most of your "super power" cape. seriously, get down.
dylan: the cape knows what it did...
me: fine, whatever, just get down.
dylan: i WOULD, but because i may or may not have eaten my cape (there is no evidence to prove that, by the way), I CAN'T GET DOWN!!!
me: right, because out of me, mom, dad, and you... the dog, the evidence doesn't point to you at all...
dylan: we're getting off track here... I AM TRAPPED IN A SPINNING CHAIR OF DOOM! HELP!!!!
so yeah, i had to "save" wonder dog from a chair.
when we can't walk him because of the rain, he tends to feel all cooped up, or if it's just a regular day, or the afternoon, he'll have these fits of running around like the cartoon tasmanian devil, only with more reckless abandon.
the general routine is this: he'll run and jump from anywhere that can be used to sit... chair to bay window, to ottoman, to couch, only this time... he jumped into the desk chair in the kitchen, which spins... apparently that was too much for him, so you know, he freaked out and howled... making me think that he was dying. i suppose in his mind he was... but when i said i fell down two flights of chairs... i really wasn't exaggerating. i have the bruises to prove it. so after all that... i had to pick up dylan, who is no longer a cute and tiny puppy... he's still growing... which is frightening.
so there it is... dylan the "wonder dog" : the real story.
i'd worry about a defamation of character lawsuit.... but since dylan is a dog, i feel fairly confident i'm good to go.
in conclusion: sometimes dylan is an asshole.
also, a cool picture that my buddy, doug, made special for this site:
yup, pretty darn cool. for more awesome drawings, that are actually very cool and not just propaganda for this site, check him out at:
alright everyone, thanks for reading!
i've been working very hard on my murder mystery, a concept for a teen fiction story, and more children stories... hence my absence from my duties as a blogger.
but i figured this was definitely worth a look
Your dog is ridiculous, and that is the worst villian for a super dog ever.
ReplyDeleteSo the next time I am over, I have a plan. When the mad, bitey dog has that mischievous look in his eye, I will employ a new tactic to help secure me safety, based on this latest info above. I will spin. Round and round. This will daze and confuse my opponent, causing him to hesitate. ( this will also confuse any bystanders and onlookers, who, let's face it, probably doubted my sanity anyhow... can't be helped)
New thought occurring: my new move will either further entice, or possibly enrage, the bitey beast, creating the possibility that he will see me as some sort of new chew toy. That will, in fact, create the problem I am desperately trying to avoid.
...hmmm. Move over Wile E. Coyote..., back to the drawing board.
Thank you for the shout out. I think we should make shirts for pics like that. We'd be walking billboards!
hahaha, no, we'd be shameless like macy gray at the mtv something awards a thousand years ago.... or 15, i can't remember. all i remember is her arriving in a big ole dress covered in "buy my new album"...
ReplyDeleteand yeah, i tried the spinning tactic with dylan: you would, in fact, and since it happened to me, let it be a lesson to you, become even more enticing and look even more like one of his toys. back to the drawing board....